Yet for many, this beautiful design is tragically broken. Instead of love, families can become a place of hostility. Instead of unity, division takes root. Instead of truth, lies dominate. One devastating example of this breakdown is what we call narcissistic family mobbing.

To understand Narcissistic Family Mobbing, watch this video and then read on.

It is a form of collective bullying in a dysfunctional family system, where one member is unfairly targeted and abused by other family members, often at the instigation of a narcissistic parent or relative. This dynamic creates a “scapegoat” who becomes the focus of blame for all the family’s problems, deflecting attention away from the real sources of dysfunction.

At the heart of this pattern lies deception. Jesus said of Satan that “when he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:44). Narcissistic family mobbing thrives on lies—rumors, false accusations, twisted perceptions—and these lies serve to wound, divide, and destroy.

The Relationship Dynamics: 

• The central narcissist: A domineering family member who controls through fear, rage, and manipulation, maintaining a facade of perfection.

• The flying monkeys (enablers): Siblings or relatives who support the bullying, whether out of fear or desire to secure favor.

• The scapegoat: The individual singled out for blame, often the one who refuses to conform to the family’s distorted reality, frequently the most empathetic or truth-telling member.

This system mirrors the ancient biblical pattern of scapegoating: placing blame on one in order to cover the sins of many (Leviticus 16). But unlike God’s ordained foreshadowing of Christ as the true scapegoat who bore sin to bring life, narcissistic mobbing heaps false blame on the innocent, crushing them under a burden they were never meant to carry.

The weapons of mobbing are many: gaslighting, scapegoating, isolation, verbal aggression, triangulation, rumor-spreading, even digital harassment. Each tactic works to undermine the victim’s sense of reality, dignity, and belonging. These tools are not merely human strategies—they echo the enemy’s schemes, for the devil seeks only to “steal and kill and destroy” (John 10:10). The trauma left behind can be profound.

The Impact:

• Depression and anxiety from years of judgment, isolation and gaslighting.

• Low self-esteem and self-doubt as lies get internalized.

• PTSD from repeated cycles of judgment and abuse.

• Emotional invalidation that makes it difficult to trust one’s own feelings.

• Trust issues that erode relationships even outside this family.

• Spiritual abuse which masks the love of God with shifting human standards of spirituality.

Narcissistic family mobbing is evil and often devastates the targeted individual for life. But into this despair, God speaks comfort: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18). The victim of mobbing is not abandoned. Christ Himself was despised and rejected (Isaiah 53:3), and He stands in solidarity with those who suffer unjustly.

Strategies for Breaking Free:

Healing from narcissistic family mobbing is neither simple nor easy, but with God’s help it is possible.

• Set and enforce strong boundaries. Scripture calls us to guard our hearts (Proverbs 4:23). Protecting your well-being is not selfish—it is godly stewardship.

• Limit contact if needed. Just as Jesus withdrew from hostile crowds, so too may we withdraw from destructive environments.

• Seek outside support. God places us in the wider Body of Christ so that we may “carry each other’s burdens” (Galatians 6:2).

• Practice self-care and renewal. Jesus invites us: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).

• Recognize and validate your feelings. Pour out your heart to God (Psalm 62:8) and know He receives you with compassion.

• Observe, don’t absorb. The mobbing reflects the family’s dysfunction, not your worth. In Christ, your identity is secure: “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!” (1 John 3:1).

If you have been the scapegoat, I see you. I lived this nightmare for decades. Through prayer, counseling and boundaries, I have finally begun to heal. I am no longer defined by the false accusations of our family but only defined by the truth of God’s Word. My Heavenly Father calls me chosen, beloved, and redeemed. What others meant for harm, He can use for good (Genesis 50:20). I choose to believe that no weapon formed against me will prevail (Isaiah 54:17).

My life is now in a new chapter where my worth in Christ steadies me and releases me to soar without fear. The chains of narcissism are broken not because others changed but because I  am taking intentional steps to forgive and heal. 

If you are struggling under the weight of narcissism, I want to encourage you today – your story is not over. God is a God of restoration, and He promises to rebuild the broken places, to give beauty for ashes, and to turn mourning into joy (Isaiah 61:3–4). Surrender your suffering to Him and intentionally start your healing journey one breath at a time. There is hope!

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

We bring before You every son or daughter wounded by narcissistic family mobbing. Lord, You see the pain, the lies, the low self-worth and the rejection. Pour Your healing truth into their hearts. Silence every false tongue raised against them, and replace lies with Your unshakable Word. Wrap them in Your love, remind them of their worth, and give them strength to walk in freedom. Surround them with safe people, restore what was lost, and bring beauty out of their ashes. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

You are not the lies spoken about you—you are the beloved child of the Living God.

It was an unsettling sight. Regardless of one’s political views, there’s no denying that when pride, power, and conflicting expectations collide, relationships—whether between nations or people—can shatter beyond repair. Some hailed Trump and Vance for “standing their ground,” while others saw a nation using its power to exploit and bully a vulnerable country.

As I watched the events unfold, I couldn’t help but see echoes of my own life, with relationships that have fractured under the weight of pride, unspoken expectations, and a refusal to meet in grace. Over the years, I have felt the rejection from those who should have been sources of love and support especially when we were navigating our children’s childhood trauma, and elder caregiving.

For years, Vanita and I faced an undercurrent of resentment from my family. No reasons were ever given regarding the cause of this animosity—just coldness, distance, and the false accusations culminating in me being ousted from the family at my father’s funeral.

One of the many painful experiences we faced was in our early years of marriage, when we were struggling with the grief of infertility. This was a deeply personal battle, one we chose to share only with both of our parents, hoping for prayers and support. Instead, we were met with judgment and anger by my parents. Why? Because we wanted them to keep it confidential, and they insisted on sharing this with extended family and friends. They accused me of not following the values I had been raised with. And their response was loud and clear—share or we were no longer welcome in their home. My mother refused to talk to us for months, until I apologized.

It was déjà vu decades later when we traveled to India for my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary in India. We had just poured time, effort, and money to throw them a very big weddling-like celebration of their marriage, right on the heels of (and still grieving from) Vanita’s beloved grandmother’s death. However, during that time we ended up facing the same coldness and judgment, and were given a cutting dismissal: “Never come back” in front of our children, when we left India to return to the US.

Watching today’s political drama made me feel that deep sorrow once again – not just for President Zelensky and Ukraine, but for all who have been cast aside. In this drama that unfolded in front of the world, we saw America’s leaders trying to exploit Unkrain’s vulnerability to make a mineral deal with them, but refusing to provide any guarantee of security to the country if Russia broke their peace agreement. When President Zelensky asked for this security guarantee, he was gas-lighted into being called ungrateful and disrespectful and falsly accused and slandered with lies. However, my primary concern is not for international conflict such as this, but the deeper issue of what the root behind this kind of confrontation is, and how Christians should handle it when this happens to them. You see, our experiences are not unique, and I have given a more detailed talk about this elsewhere.

There is something uniquely devastating about being discarded after giving your heart, your time, and your loyalty. So, what do you do when those you’ve loved, respected, served, and sacrificed for, turn their backs on you? When you stand there, stunned, asking, What just happened? Is this my fault? Where is God in this valley? Why do I feel so wounded, defeated and alone? Watching others justify it makes the suffering even worse. In psychology, enablers of such rejection are called “flying monkeys”—those who defend manipulators out of fear, blind loyalty, or sheer ignorance. I have seen this play out in families, communities, and in the highest levels of power.

The Bible speaks plainly about pride and the abuse of power. God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6). Yet time and again, people choose dominance over humility. Paul exhorts us, Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves (Philippians 2:3-4). How many of our relationships could be salvaged if we truly lived this way. But sadly, we live in a broken world where ego wins, where wounds remain, where rejection cuts deep, and victims are accused and made to suffer even more. And yet, even here, God sees. God loves. He knows the truth. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18).

Will Ukraine and the U.S. reconcile? Will our own wounds ever fully heal? Some things may never be restored on this side of eternity. But I do know this – I am not in control of outcomes. We are only called to stand in Biblical truth, pray, walk in integrity, extend forgiveness. We need to seek the Spirit’s guidance regarding reconciliation – which may or may not be possible, and sometimes boundaries need to be set.

To those cast aside, misunderstood, or rejected—God sees you. He knows your pain. You are not alone. Your worth is not defined by rejection. Keep walking by faith, in truth. Keep loving, even when it’s not returned. Keep extending grace, even when it’s denied. Because at the end of the day, the God who holds all things together in this world, the One who gave His very life to save us from our sins, sees the full picture. He will return as the mighty King of Kings, when every knee will bow down before Him and every tongue will confess Him as Lord. God promises that Jesus will righteously right all wrongs. We are therefore called to follow Jesus’ example. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly (1 Peter 2:22-24). He will lift up the weak and the down trodden who have placed their faith in Him.

Let us look forward to Jesus’ “well done” on that glorious day, and may that be sufficient for now!.

Learn how to practically help those in need by downloading e-book Helping the Hurting.

The one-page PDF, 5 Minutes to Hope has the things she does when she is struggling. Download it here.

• She has written a blog article: Do you Hate Asking for Help?